Cursing

Hey people. This is a quick post. Yeah really.

I need to type this post like full of speed since i don't have much time left.


Cursing has become a habit to me, when I'm freakin' mad. It's a fact. Who am I to oppose the authentic fact?
Cursing can become a habit, once it became a habit, it's hard to stop.
Anyway, many people do not know about it. Especially my ex-classmates. Since I'm so quite at school. Hehe.
When I was in class, I spend more time sleeping than chatting with friends. My tight brain need some rest. 
So they think I'm just an innocent kid who came from a good family.
While I'm actually not.
Whoa, I'm so pro when being hypocritical without conscious. But what you saw is actually I'm being myself.
People, i may look innocent but i'm not. I sometimes curse A LOT at home. Like, A LOT.
I say the Fcuk word. Like other people. But mostly I say shit. Since shit is less sensitive.
I don't say cibai and lancau. That's just disgusting. I'm not being racist or what. But I hate it when not just my  chinese friend, but all my friends say that so many times, my head is going to explode.
I don't say babi. Sangat kecelakaan. Bila kita sebut, babi yang dapat nama. LOL.
I do not curse in front of people, especially stranger.
That's better than outright swearing in front of the public.
I have pride. Of course.
I'm like you guys, mate. Don't assume me that i'm innocent like ever, that I never curse. You make me feel guilty.
And i tell you that i'm not even proud of it. Period.

Kawan Aku Hantu 2

Selepas kejadian semalam, Mellina mengambil MC untuk sehari. Kini badan dia terlantar sakit di atas katil. Dia pun tidak pasti samada dia demam akibat hujan atau pun akibat perlanggaran. Teringat kembali kisah tersebut, badan dia menggigil.

-TOK TOK TOK-

"Siapa tu?" tanya Mellina.

"Mellina.. mama masuk ye.."

Puan Su menatang dulang berisi semangkuk bubur dan segelas air masak. Mellina sudah tersenyum sampai ke telinga.

"Ma....." rengek Mellina manja. Dah lama tak bermanja-manjaan. Puan Su tarik muka.

"Jangan nak mengada-ngada. Mama ada banyak kerja lagi kat dapur tu. Kejap lagi Hazimi balik dia lapar karang." Puan Su ingin keluar tetapi tangan Mellina setia melekat pada lengan Puan Su. Kadang-kadang sengaja dia mimikkan muka macam kucing comel.

"Mel......" Kata Puan geram. Kalau anak dara dia ni ringan tulang nak menolong takpelah, ini masuk dapur pun jarang-jarang macam nak siapkan kerja kat dapur tu?

"K fine........" Dia pasrah.

Esok dia akan berkerja semula. Kan best kalau dapat rehat macam ni.

******

Ren duduk di atas tembok yang sedia ada di luar rumah. Sesekali kepala dia menjenguk melihat kawasan halaman rumah. Terdapat buayan yang tersadai di sebelah pintu. Kosong. Keadaan rumahnya begitu sunyi sepi. Ah... mungkin mereka jenguk aku di hospital. Dia tersenyum kelat.

Tanpa sedar air matanya merembes keluar. Rindu untuk bermain bersama keluarga. Rindu untuk bergelak ketawa. Selama 1 bulan berpisah dengan keluarga, hidupnya begitu kosong. Apa yang dia lalui begitu perit-perit belaka. Terutama sekali apabila dia berlanggaran dengan kereta semalam. Konon-konon dia hantu dia boleh melintas sesuka hati. Boleh dijaminlah bahawa dia akan selamat. Sebab dia mempunyai kebolehan untuk menembus. Tak sangka pula dia boleh tercampak dekat atas pokok mangga. Sudahlah eksiden, tercampak atas pokok pulak tu. Haih bala... bala... Tapi, perkara semalam membuatkan dia pelik. Kereta tu pun hantu jugak ke?

Dia menyeka air mata yang bersisa. Bosan mengenangkan nasib menimpa diri, Ren bertindak meninggalkan kawasan itu. Nak menangis pun dah takde guna, hidup perlu diteruskan.

"Babai rumah," kata Ren perlahan. Setiap minggu dia wajib melawat rumah sendiri.

******

Tangan Mellina laju menekan-nekan punat tetikus yang hanya bersebelahan dengan laptop. Dia begitu khusyuk mengedit gambar-gambar pengantin yang dia 'tembak' beberapa hari yang lalu.

Dia seorang photographer atau dalam bahasa melayunya jurugambar. Ke mana-mana sahaja dia pergi, dia takkan lupa membawa kamera. Jangan pandang rendah sesekali kepada photographer wanita. Ingat lelaki je boleh? Perempuan pun dah ramailah sekarang.

"Hai Mellina. How are you babe? Dah sihat ke yang oiiiii..." ucap Fie dari belakang. Mellina apa lagi kerkezzzut bak hang! Miang-miang keladi sahaja suara si jantan tu.

"Eh, aku sihat Alhamdulillah. Rindu jugak kau kat aku ekh."

"Hemm tak rindu pun. Susahlah kalau kat takde. Semua benda aku nak kena buat. Dah tu aku yang kena beli lunch untuk diorang. Betullah kata kau, diorang tu pemalas tahap babun okay. Selalu kau yang tolong belikan. Kat luar tu dahlah panas giler hokeh! Habis kulit I terbakar u ollsss! Nasib baik I pakai sunblock!" Selamba sahaja lelaki lembut itu bertutur sambil tangan dia mengibas-ngibas muka.

Nak kisah apa. Kalau tak suruh Mellina belikan makanan, dia boleh pau bekal yang Mellina bawak. Sedap pun sedap, free pulak tu. Rozi dengan yang lain pun boleh join sekaki.

"Hei, buat kerja mana boleh malas-malas. Nanti hidup tak berkat."

"Yelah, tak kuasa aku.." Tangan ke bahu, mata ke atas.

Mellina geleng kepala. Dia menolak kerusi yang dia duduki ke belakang. Macam biasa dah sampai waktu lunch. Dia tidak kisah untuk membeli lunch untuk mereka. Sebab dia boleh exercise. Lagipun dia tak sanggup menatap gambar dan kamera 24 jam. Boleh muntah dibuatnya.

"Rozi, aku nak keluar ni."

"Mee rebus weh." Pendek sahaja jawapan Rozi. Dah agak dah. Mee rebus tak mee rebus, tu jugaklah yang dia nak. Mee rebus acik Yati kat Pasar Selayang memey terbaik. Heeee...

FYI, Rozi itu kawan baik Mellina sejak sekolah menengah. Dia juga boss kepada Mellina.

"Korang yang lain?"

"Ahhhh.... aku nak..."

"Lantak pi dioranglah. Pandai-pandailah kau. Cepat pergi cek dah lapaq ni...!" Potong Rozi belum sempat pekerja yang lain menjawab.

Mellina keluar dari studio.

******

Mellina senyum gembira sebaik sahaja keluar dari pasar Selayang Baru. Nasib anti tak tutup lagi gerai dia. Kalau tak melepaslah kau Rozi.

Sebaik sahaja Mellina sempat sampai di tempat parking, dia terlihat akan beberapa lelaki-lelaki berwajah ganas melepak berhampiran dengan kereta miliknya. Hati dia menjadi gusar.

Namun dia tetap memberanikan diri untuk menghampiri kereta itu. Belum sempat dia mengeluarkan kunci dari tas tangan, salah seorang dari lelaki tersebut merentap tangan Mellina. Mellina terkejut. Jatuh semua makanan yang dibeli tadi.

"Sorang je cik?" Mellina memandang muka lelaki itu. Ya Allah, apasallah muka kau gangster sangat! Dia mengalihkan pandangan. Muka hitam legam, berparut dengan jahitan dekat tepi muka, rambut botak tetapi masih ada rambut tercacak di tengah. Serupa macam penyangak.

Dia cuba menarik tangan, tetapi genggaman abang botak tu lebih kuat.

"Eii lepaskanlah!" Dia jijik melihat tangan tangan lelaki itu. Kotor. Dasar pengotor! Entah lepas cebuk dia basuh ke tak tangan tu? Dalam waktu genting macam ni Mellina mengambil berat tentang kebersihan. Memang baikkk punyeee timing!

"Tolong saya!" Mellina sudah memulakan langkah.

"Kau ingat ada orang dengar pertolongan kau?!" Gertak lelaki itu. Sesekali dia mengelus pipi Mellina yang bercucuran dengan air mata. Jijik!

"Pewitttttt....." Kali ini geng dia yang lain bersiul. "Angkut dia bawak balik bos. Body slim, dahi licin. Perghhh, memang mantop bosss....." Sambung salah seorang dari mereka. Mellina mengetap bibir. Kurang ajar punya jantan! Dah sangap sangat agaknya? (ehh sat, geli mase tulis part ni. wahaha!)

Dia mencempung badan Mellina yang ringan itu serupa macam angkat kapas.

"Tolong!!" Jerit dia sekali lagi. Terdapat beberapa orang yang lalu lalang di situ tetapi tidak berbuat apa-apa. Bukannya tidak mahu menolong, tetapi alamak tak sama saiz pulak... Memang gila la nak pergi tolong, itu tanda tak sayang nyawa!

Dari jauh, ada seseorang sedang memerhati.

Sneakers

girlish. hish.

I'm not perfect, and I'm not a perfect person. In fact, i'm trying to be one. Although i knew such thing will never happen. Ah, at least I try.

I'm aware of myself I am not knowledgeable as you guys. However, we have given an edge to voice out an opinion. Hence, i hope you guys and the rest of the people should AT LEAST try to be open-minded person. Because i'm trying to express my thought without offending anyone's feeling.

Anyway, I'm attached to this thing called sneakers. I stopped wearing sandals after 14th. Like seriously.

I even wear it when I go to super market. Do you know why? Because it is very comfortable.

That's one.

But in other aspects, I wear sneakers to cover my aurat. Heh.

When I say aurat, it is not all about hijab solely. Yes of course, we have to wear hijab to cover our heads. But apparently now people seem to have misunderstand the definition of aurat.

Aurat is not just about covering your head. But more with the whole body. Except for face and palms. And of course i'm referring with the girl's aurat. Heh.

Therefore, to be shortened, feet is also part of aurat. And we need to cover it. That's all.

Islam is simple. The problem is ours. People nowadays tend to make it more complicated.

And i still don't get why. I cannot brain this.

If you are not gangstah like me, just wear socks, and followed with sandals. That's thousand times better than from those who wear high heels.

When I was 12th, i wear hijab. But i don't cover my aurat properly. Why? Because i wear T-Shirt. We can see our arms. Arms is also part of aurat.

See? Sometimes we think that we're good Muslims but we're actually not.

I'll give you one story.

After Ali finished bathing, he went straight to the kitchen for looking his mom. He suddenly saw nasi lemak when he pass by dining table. It looks delicious. Two packets of nasi lemak makes him tempted. Ali took off the food cover and opened two packets of nasi lemak with the speed. After finished eating, he just leave the place. JUST LIKE THAT. LIKE A BOSS. WITH NO MERCY. There is no way he gonna throw up the food from his stomach and put it back as it is. Ali is selfish.

Nasi lemak cannot be returned. For forever. Like our virgin girls. How do you want to get back? Sendiri mau pikirlah... mana ada dara boleh dikembalikan. Kau giler ke? Haha!

When you cover your aurat not in proper way it is just like when you cover your food with transparent 'tudung saji' that u still can see the WHOLE thing. And makes certain people tempted.

That's why we are obliged to cover ourselves. That's why there is a definition of 'Menutup aurat mengikut Syariat yang ditetapkan oleh Islam.'

You don't have to wear Hijab like Ustazah, as long its cover your chest it's enough.

I talked too much today.

Assalamualaikum.

Wish

I have one wish, and it should be granted! This is what i'm going to do, few days before receive my SPM's result, i has decided to deactivate my facebook account. For what? To avoid from being asked such a common question which has become a tradition in Malaysian society. E.g;

"How many A's you have got?"

This has been a compulsory question for my uncle and aunty since ancient times. Oh, sorry. I might have gone a little overboard with the words of my parable. Frankly speaking, i hate it. Moreover with the presence of my new same aged step-cousin made me felt insecure. How can I beat him to the death? He is so genius. Without doubt I will be compared to him.

But, that will happen if I get bad result. However, if I get good result, my facebook will stay as it is.

I have been through into this dark world when I was 12 and 15. And for Allah sake i don't want to remember my past incident. I clearly remember how I can't faced my family properly because I'm too ashamed of myself. I failed to be a good daughter and I failed to make them proud.

SAD.

Huh, apparently i might delete my facebook account as well because I get a feeling that I will be shattered on 20 March 2013. The date from rumors that have been spread around on the social network, that's what I heard at least.

First time buat chibi

apa pandang-pandang? ada hutang ke?

dah tu tak siap pulak tu. memang kebangangan tahap abadi kepada guwa yang selalu buat kerja tak siap. konon2 takde moodlah. akukan, tak reti kaler. jadi nak siapkan pun, memang tak retilah. ini pun pestaim buat chibi. nak kasi comel pun tetap ade aura ganas kat situ.

tema raja. raja muka bongkak. kau tak nampak ke muka dia? betapa bongkaknya muka beliau dengan rambut kaler grey dan mata maroonnya.

komen?

ini yang dah siap!

baru siap. pergh.